Meet Ashley Belanger CMHA PEI Peer Support Manager….and Suicide Survivor.

Sep 3rd, 2024

Dear Mental Health Supporter, 

Have you, or someone you love, ever felt completely and utterly alone, like no one in the world could possibly understand your pain? I have.

From the time I was five years old, I knew I was different from others, I lived with such big feelings and with no skills to regulate those big emotions, as resources were not easily accessible or available. At eleven years old I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression, having 3-4 anxiety attacks a day. As I grew, my mental health declined without anyone noticing because I presented myself well but was battling my thoughts more than ever at this point. In Grade 10, I experienced significant trauma which led to my first suicide attempt and was admitted to the youth psychiatric unit at the hospital for my first of many stays.  

After high school, I experienced extreme tragedy and loss, including my father, but also experienced many beautiful things in my life like my children. However, despite having beautiful children who are my main reasons to keep fighting my battle, the darkness can still set in again, and really make us believe the worst which includes that our children would be better off without us.

I continued to experience significant trauma which led to many misdiagnoses over the years, and although the treatment at the time kept me safe, there were always missing pieces to my healing.  I had many suicide attempts throughout my life, but in 2016 I had my last. Luckily, my mom was able to get to me just in time and I was admitted to the hospital for my longest stay.  I was defiant, defeated, had no hope, and did not want to listen to anyone, because I thought no one could truly understand what I was going through. I was wrong.  One day a woman entered my room to invite me to a voluntary group she was leading, but I declined. She persisted, insisting that if I wanted to improve it was ultimately my responsibility. She explained that she was from CMHA and that she herself had experienced and overcome similar struggles with her mental health.  She said that by sharing my story I too could help others, like she had for so many. She saw the light in me and helped me to see it myself. That was the day I decided to turn my pain into something beautiful.  Something that could help others.  I knew I had to save myself.  

My mother was my biggest fan. She took part in CMHA’s Family Program and this is a huge part of what saved me. My Mom learned skills that helped to navigate my mental health and recovery. She learned the language that would make me feel seen, validated and safe. She pushed me through my darkest days because she was equipped with the skills that she learned in the program.  I am forever grateful. Even though she is gone, I still hear her voice supporting and encouraging me through the bad days.  Reminding me to fight every day.  I know she is watching from above – always believing in me.

It had always been my dream to work in mental health. After sharing my story on the local news, I got a position at the Canadian Mental Health Association as a Housing Worker, created my own Peer Support Group called “Still Here”, helped CMHA bring the Peer Support Program to Prince Edward Island and in 2018 I became CMHA’s Peer Support Coordinator. In our first year, we hired 3 Peer Support Workers and supported over 300 individuals.  The need in our province for this type of program was evident. 

Today CMHA’s Peer Support Program includes crisis intervention, our ‘Hospital to Home’ program which prepares patients to integrate back into society after a hospital stay, one-on-one sessions, and hosting groups every day of the week, in every county. We meet clients and work together on developing individualized plans. Peer Support helps bridge the gap in the mental health system. We now have 10 Peer Support Workers across the island. I will never have enough words to explain the magic that they do every day with our clients. Our program has been so successful that in 2022, we received the Council of the Federation (COF) Award for Innovation in Mental Health and Addictions Care. The same year, I received the Queen Elizabeth II’s Platinum Jubilee Medal for my work in Mental Health and Addictions.  

Our recovery is not linear, but it is up to us to continue to fight through feelings that are uncomfortable.  I always tell my clients that the feelings we have are temporary and uncomfortable, but our strength lies in coming together and fighting those feelings as there will always be light after dark.  Following my last suicide attempt, I got a semi-colon tattoo; the symbol of hope and perseverance. It signifies a pause in someone’s life sentence, not an end. If my life had ended, I would have never been able to accomplish what I have to help others. Living with a mental illness can be extremely debilitating but we need to remind ourselves that throughout our struggles, life can be beautiful even on the days we can’t see that. We need to be “still here” to see how great life can be. 

CMHA-PEI steps up when there are no other resources available. We love what we do but we do need financial support to keep these programs running as the ever-growing needs rise in our province. In one way or another, we all have been impacted by mental health, whether it is ourselves, our loved ones, or maybe the stranger you walk by on the street. We truly do not know what someone is going through. They struggle with challenges that often go unspoken. Each and every one of us can help those who live with mental health problems. Little changes create waves, and we can be that change.  

Today I ask that you consider giving to our CMHA – PEI Fall Appeal and help our organization continue the important work that we do.  You can also donate in honour of someone’s memory by filling out the section on the enclosed form.  Your generosity can help save a life, offering hope and healing to someone who may feel like they have none. 

To contribute to our CMHA-PEI programs and services you may do so: 

1.                  Online: www.pei.cmha.ca through our “Donate” page. Please indicate in the dropdown menu that your donation is for the Fall Appeal.  

2.                  By mail: P.O. Box 785, Charlottetown, PEI C1A 7L9 

3.                  By phone: (902)-566-3034 

4.                  In person: 178 Fitzroy Street, between 9:00 am & 4:00 pm, Monday to Friday. 

Cheques should be made payable to the Canadian Mental Health Association – PEI Division. 

Thank you for your generosity and compassion. Rest assured, 100% of donations made to CMHA-PEI remain in the province and support those individuals and their families that need it most. Together, we can turn the tide on this silent epidemic.

Still here,  

Ashley Belanger 

Suicide Survivor  

“When we imagine we have finished our story, fate has a trick of turning the page and showing us yet another chapter” – Lucy Maude Montgomery, Author